Hi Briana – thanks so much for your question. How old is your daughter? It would be helpful to know whether she’s likely to be developmentally ready for night “training,” although the age range that children become ready for night dryness is incredibly wide, from about 3 to 8. I wouldn’t offer a prize/reward for doing this either way, partly because it’s a developmental issue and she will be dry at night when she is ready whether or not she is rewarded, and partly because it’s a developmental issue and she may not have a lot of control over whether she is ready to be dry at night, so it doesn’t seem fair to penalize her for wet nights.

In a way I think you answered your own question: if we are giving the child something for doing something that WE want them to do (not pee the bed, help out around the house, etc.) then that is a reward and we should try to find other ways to work on this issue. Most young children don’t have a vision of what “the future” is so they lack the ability to make long-term plans and carry them out. Where I would say that working toward something could be a good thing to do is if we work toward something as a family (e.g. saving for a family vacation, if the child is old enough to understand money), or if the “prize” is intrinsic to doing the thing itself (e.g. if you attend all the dance practices you get to participate in the recital).

Have you seen the free guide on How to Stop Using Rewards to Gain a Child’s Compliance at the top of this page? That could really help you to put some of these things into practice. You can also join the Your Parenting Mojo Facebook group, where we discuss these kinds of issues all the time!