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Needs List for Parents

When our needs are met, we tend to feel 'right' in the world - satisfied; joyful; at ease. When they aren't, we feel 'not right' - we might have feelings of frustration, anger, or resentment and/or experience tightness and tension in our bodies.

Note: Parents and children often express relatively few needs most of the time, and longer lists available online become overwhelming to use. Try starting with this shorter list and look for more precise words once you get the hang of it.
CONNECTION

Acceptance
Appreciation
Belonging
Collaboration
Communication
Empathy
Kindness
Love
Partnership
Support
To understand and be understood
Touch
Trust

PEACE

Beauty
Calm
Ease
Harmony
Order
Respect

HONESTY

Authenticity
Integrity
Presence
MEANING

Challenge
Competence (especially in parenting)
Creativity
Growth
Having a sense of purpose
Hope
Learning
Self-connection
Self-expression

SAFETY

Consistency
Physical and emotional safety

AUTONOMY

Choice
Freedom
Independence
Power
Space/freedom from touch

RELAXATION/LEISURE

Excitement
Fun
Humor
Indulgence
Joy
Mental space
Play
Pleasure

PHYSICAL WELL-BEING

Air
Comfort
Exercise
Food/water
Rest/sleep
Safety
Safety of children/dependents
Self-care
Sexual expression

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Your Parenting Mojo acknowledges the Lisjan Ohlone people, the rightful stewards of the land on which we live and work.  While the Lisjan Ohlone people can never be fully compensated for the harms that the legacy of colonialism has wrought, we pay the Shuumi Land Tax as recognition that more than words are needed, and we encourage others to engage meaningfully (including financially) with their local Indigenous communities.

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