Research-based ideas
to help kids thrive
Such a special opportunity
for MAR Members
for MAR Members
A book club with benefits, with tangible action -
and a catalyst for real change!
Typically an opportunity like this one, with deep and impactful group coaching hosted by Jen - that makes it so much more than your standard book club - would cost several hundred dollars per person. Thanks to a grant funding from the Government of Canada, we can offer MAR members greatly reduced rates.
It's a dream-come-true to be able to bring this amazing opportunity to you. As parents, this is such a great way to "do anti-racist work" while reaping previously unimaginable parenting benefits like fewer tantrums, more collaboration, more alignment with our parenting partner, and best of all - more overall ease at home.
and a catalyst for real change!
Typically an opportunity like this one, with deep and impactful group coaching hosted by Jen - that makes it so much more than your standard book club - would cost several hundred dollars per person. Thanks to a grant funding from the Government of Canada, we can offer MAR members greatly reduced rates.
It's a dream-come-true to be able to bring this amazing opportunity to you. As parents, this is such a great way to "do anti-racist work" while reaping previously unimaginable parenting benefits like fewer tantrums, more collaboration, more alignment with our parenting partner, and best of all - more overall ease at home.
Through the Book Club, you will:
- Develop an even greater relationship with your kids
- Build on existing and new MAR parent-to-parent relationships within the community
- Have greater clarity on learning racism and how learning about racism happens in families
- See how White supremacy played a role in our upbringing, it's impact on our own parenting and work toward healing our own hurts
- A deeper sense of self-acceptance: we can get things wrong and not be perfect, both in parenting and anti-racism work
- Dismantle the power-over dynamic with our children, and model power-sharing tools that they can also use with siblings and peers
I'm still pinching myself when I look at how far our MAR community has come. I really hope you will join us for this opportunity that can have such a profound impact in our families - and the wider world as well.
- Kerry Cavers, Founder & Board President
of Moms Against Racism Canada
- Kerry Cavers, Founder & Board President
of Moms Against Racism Canada
Jen & Kerry sharing a laugh in Vancouver Fall of 2023 the day after Culture Talks Panel Event, where a seed of this book club was formed.
Such a special opportunity
for MAR Members
for MAR Members
A book club with benefits, with tangible action - and a catalyst for real change!
Typically an opportunity like this one, with deep and impactful group coaching hosted by Jen - that makes it so much more than your standard book club - would cost several hundred dollars per person. Thanks to a grant funding from the Government of Canada, we can offer MAR members greatly reduced rates.
It's a dream-come-true to be able to bring this amazing opportunity to you. As parents, this is such a great way to "do anti-racist work" while reaping previously unimaginable parenting benefits like fewer tantrums, more collaboration, more alignment with our parenting partner, and best of all - more overall ease at home.
Typically an opportunity like this one, with deep and impactful group coaching hosted by Jen - that makes it so much more than your standard book club - would cost several hundred dollars per person. Thanks to a grant funding from the Government of Canada, we can offer MAR members greatly reduced rates.
It's a dream-come-true to be able to bring this amazing opportunity to you. As parents, this is such a great way to "do anti-racist work" while reaping previously unimaginable parenting benefits like fewer tantrums, more collaboration, more alignment with our parenting partner, and best of all - more overall ease at home.
Through the Book Club, you will:
- Develop an even greater relationship with your kids
- Build on existing and new MAR parent-to-parent relationships within the community
- Have greater clarity on learning racism and how learning about racism happens in families
- See how White supremacy played a role in our upbringing, it's impact on our own parenting and work toward healing our own hurts
- A deeper sense of self-acceptance: we can get things wrong and not be perfect, both in parenting and anti-racism work
- Dismantle the power-over dynamic with our children, and model power-sharing tools that they can also use with siblings and peers
I'm still pinching myself when I look at how far our MAR community has come. I really hope you will join us for this opportunity that can have such a profound impact in our families - and the wider world as well.
- Kerry Cavers, Founder
& Board President Moms Against Racism Canada
- Kerry Cavers, Founder
& Board President Moms Against Racism Canada
Jen & Kerry sharing a laugh in Vancouver Fall of 2023 the day after Culture Talks Panel Event, where a seed of this book club was formed.
At its core, racism is about power…
Racism is a system of discrimination based on race or ethnicity. It's rooted in White supremacy ideology that links Whiteness with goodness, purity, and value.
Because Whiteness, and therefore White people, are considered superior, they (or we, in Jen’s case) have more power. White people get to decide things like the ‘correct’ way of speaking, who has access to public services, and who goes to jail and for what crimes.
Our children learn about power from the media they consume and from school - but they first learn it from us, their parents and caregivers.
Because Whiteness, and therefore White people, are considered superior, they (or we, in Jen’s case) have more power. White people get to decide things like the ‘correct’ way of speaking, who has access to public services, and who goes to jail and for what crimes.
Our children learn about power from the media they consume and from school - but they first learn it from us, their parents and caregivers.
At its core, racism is
about power…
about power…
Racism is a system of discrimination based on race or ethnicity. It's rooted in White supremacy ideology that links Whiteness with goodness, purity, and value.
Because Whiteness, and therefore White people, are considered superior, they (or we, in Jen’s case) have more power. White people get to decide things like the ‘correct’ way of speaking, who has access to public services, and who goes to jail and for what crimes.
Our children learn about power from the media they consume and from school - but they first learn it from us, their parents and caregivers.
Because Whiteness, and therefore White people, are considered superior, they (or we, in Jen’s case) have more power. White people get to decide things like the ‘correct’ way of speaking, who has access to public services, and who goes to jail and for what crimes.
Our children learn about power from the media they consume and from school - but they first learn it from us, their parents and caregivers.
Kids learn more from what we do, than from what we say
Yes, White parents and Parents of Colour must continue to talk with our kids about race and racism. We can never stop doing that work.
But if we’re:
- Diversifying our bookshelf
- Attending anti-racism marches
- Talking with our kids about race
...while using our power to get them to listen, they’ll take the “power-over” lesson from our actions rather than our words.
They’ll learn that more powerful people can and should use their power over others, which is the core of racism and White supremacy.
But if we’re:
- Diversifying our bookshelf
- Attending anti-racism marches
- Talking with our kids about race
...while using our power to get them to listen, they’ll take the “power-over” lesson from our actions rather than our words.
They’ll learn that more powerful people can and should use their power over others, which is the core of racism and White supremacy.
Kids learn more from what we do, than
from what we say
from what we say
Yes, White parents and Parents of Colour must continue to talk with our kids about race and racism. We can never stop doing that work.
But if we’re:
- Diversifying our bookshelf
- Attending anti-racism marches
- Talking with our kids about race
...while using our power to get them to listen, they’ll take the “power-over” lesson from our actions rather than our words.
They’ll learn that more powerful people can and should use their power over others, which is the core of racism and White supremacy.
But if we’re:
- Diversifying our bookshelf
- Attending anti-racism marches
- Talking with our kids about race
...while using our power to get them to listen, they’ll take the “power-over” lesson from our actions rather than our words.
They’ll learn that more powerful people can and should use their power over others, which is the core of racism and White supremacy.
Our children learn how to use power… from us
We use power in many of our daily interactions with our kids. When we decide what behavior we want to see and then we coerce them into producing it, we’re using our power over them.
Kid refusing to sit on the potty? Break out the Jolly Ranchers.
Kid won’t do their homework? Maybe we try rewards (like screen time) first but then end up nagging, pleading, and then threatening punishments.
Kid has a massive meltdown because they don’t want to leave the park? Perhaps we try promised rewards AND threatened punishments - and then physically force their body into the car.
Kid won’t do their homework? Maybe we try rewards (like screen time) first but then end up nagging, pleading, and then threatening punishments.
Kid has a massive meltdown because they don’t want to leave the park? Perhaps we try promised rewards AND threatened punishments - and then physically force their body into the car.
Our children learn how to use power… from us
We use power in many of our daily interactions with our kids. When we decide what behavior we want to see and then we coerce them into producing it, we’re using our power over them.
Kid refusing to sit on the potty? Break out the Jolly Ranchers.
Kid won’t do their homework? Maybe we try rewards (like screen time) first but then end up nagging, pleading, and then threatening punishments.
Kid has a massive meltdown because they don’t want to leave the park? Perhaps we try promised rewards AND threatened punishments - and then physically force their body into the car.
Kid won’t do their homework? Maybe we try rewards (like screen time) first but then end up nagging, pleading, and then threatening punishments.
Kid has a massive meltdown because they don’t want to leave the park? Perhaps we try promised rewards AND threatened punishments - and then physically force their body into the car.
“But I don’t have a choice!”
“I believe in gentle/respectful parenting in principle, but it doesn’t ‘work’ all the time. If I didn’t force my kid to do these things, nothing would ever happen!
Nobody can say I yell as much as my Mom yelled at me, but I do still yell…more than I’d like.
I don’t like using power over them - it isn’t aligned with my values and I often feel guilt or even shame afterward - but what else am I supposed to do when they won’t listen to me?”
Nobody can say I yell as much as my Mom yelled at me, but I do still yell…more than I’d like.
I don’t like using power over them - it isn’t aligned with my values and I often feel guilt or even shame afterward - but what else am I supposed to do when they won’t listen to me?”
Parenting doesn’t have to be this hard
Even if we’re trying to parent differently from the way we were raised, when things get stressful, everything we’ve learned from podcasts, books, and Instagram memes flies out the window - we’re right back to controlling our children in the same way our parents tried to control us.
But it doesn’t have to be this way.
If things seem hard right now, it’s because you don’t clearly understand your needs, and your child’s needs. Instead, you’ve decided on one strategy you want to use, your child is locked into their strategy, and you’re at an impasse.
But it doesn’t have to be this way.
If things seem hard right now, it’s because you don’t clearly understand your needs, and your child’s needs. Instead, you’ve decided on one strategy you want to use, your child is locked into their strategy, and you’re at an impasse.
It’s possible to meet
your child’s needs…
and your needs as well
your child’s needs…
and your needs as well
and I can show
you how!
you how!
Parenting doesn’t
have to be this hard
have to be this hard
Even if we’re trying to parent differently from the way we were raised, when things get stressful, everything we’ve learned from podcasts, books, and Instagram memes flies out the window - we’re right back to controlling our children in the same way our parents tried to control us.
But it doesn’t have to be this way.
If things seem hard right now, it’s because you don’t clearly understand your needs, and your child’s needs. Instead, you’ve decided on one strategy you want to use, your child is locked into their strategy, and you’re at an impasse.
But it doesn’t have to be this way.
If things seem hard right now, it’s because you don’t clearly understand your needs, and your child’s needs. Instead, you’ve decided on one strategy you want to use, your child is locked into their strategy, and you’re at an impasse.
It’s possible to meet
your child’s needs…
and your needs as well
your child’s needs…
and your needs as well
and I can show
you how!
you how!
Hi, I’m Jen
I host the Your Parenting Mojo podcast, which has been downloaded over 3.5 million times and was named Best Research-Based Parenting Podcast by Lifehacker. My work has been featured in media with national and international reach and my book, Parenting Beyond Power: How to Use Connection and Collaboration to Transform Your Family - and the World has a 5 star rating on Amazon.
I have a deep passion for supporting both parents and children. While conventional disciplinary tools can hurt children and Gentle Parenting can hurt parents (as parents prioritize children's needs over their own), I help parents uncover and use strategies that meet both people's needs.
The result is a more harmonious family life today, because we don't experience frustration, anger, or resentment when our own needs are met. And in the longer term, we will raise children who understand and can advocate for their own needs - while deeply respecting others' needs as well.
I have a deep passion for supporting both parents and children. While conventional disciplinary tools can hurt children and Gentle Parenting can hurt parents (as parents prioritize children's needs over their own), I help parents uncover and use strategies that meet both people's needs.
The result is a more harmonious family life today, because we don't experience frustration, anger, or resentment when our own needs are met. And in the longer term, we will raise children who understand and can advocate for their own needs - while deeply respecting others' needs as well.
Hi, I’m Jen
I host the Your Parenting Mojo podcast, which has been downloaded over 3.5 million times and was named Best Research-Based Parenting Podcast by Lifehacker. My work has been featured in media with national and international reach and my book, Parenting Beyond Power: How to Use Connection and Collaboration to Transform Your Family - and the World has a 5 star rating on Amazon.
I have a deep passion for supporting both parents and children. While conventional disciplinary tools can hurt children and Gentle Parenting can hurt parents (as parents prioritize children's needs over their own), I help parents uncover and use strategies that meet both people's needs.
The result is a more harmonious family life today, because we don't experience frustration, anger, or resentment when our own needs are met. And in the longer term, we will raise children who understand and can advocate for their own needs - while deeply respecting the needs of others as well.
I have a deep passion for supporting both parents and children. While conventional disciplinary tools can hurt children and Gentle Parenting can hurt parents (as parents prioritize children's needs over their own), I help parents uncover and use strategies that meet both people's needs.
The result is a more harmonious family life today, because we don't experience frustration, anger, or resentment when our own needs are met. And in the longer term, we will raise children who understand and can advocate for their own needs - while deeply respecting the needs of others as well.
My Anti-Racist Journey
In 2018, I produced a podcast episode on the impact of intergenerational trauma. I wondered about the impact of enslavement as well as ongoing racism on Black people’s present-day experience and I reached out to a Black friend and fellow podcaster to ask if she thought it would be appropriate for me to produce an episode on this topic.
She (way more kindly and gently than was necessary) inquired whether I had ever examined the role of Whiteness in my life.
To which I replied: “Ummm…what???”
This launched my journey to understand Whiteness, White supremacy, and how I - a progressive living in Berkeley, California who had a decent understanding of systemic racism - have benefited from my unearned privilege.
I’m not perfect. I don’t have this all ‘figured out.’ I make mistakes on the regular (I’ve been ‘called in’ by Kerry Cavers quite recently!).
But I have an easy, joyful relationship with my daughter, because we know how to understand and meet each other’s needs most of the time. I see her noticing and challenging systems of power inside and outside our home - and making sure other people’s needs get met alongside her own.
I’ve also helped thousands of parents to learn and use these tools through courses and memberships, and I’m excited to share them with you.
She (way more kindly and gently than was necessary) inquired whether I had ever examined the role of Whiteness in my life.
To which I replied: “Ummm…what???”
This launched my journey to understand Whiteness, White supremacy, and how I - a progressive living in Berkeley, California who had a decent understanding of systemic racism - have benefited from my unearned privilege.
I’m not perfect. I don’t have this all ‘figured out.’ I make mistakes on the regular (I’ve been ‘called in’ by Kerry Cavers quite recently!).
But I have an easy, joyful relationship with my daughter, because we know how to understand and meet each other’s needs most of the time. I see her noticing and challenging systems of power inside and outside our home - and making sure other people’s needs get met alongside her own.
I’ve also helped thousands of parents to learn and use these tools through courses and memberships, and I’m excited to share them with you.
A chat over coffee illuminated how
Parenting Beyond Power needed to
be shared with the MAR community
Parenting Beyond Power needed to
be shared with the MAR community
For yourself, for your kids, for your partner & for your community...
In the Fall of 2023, I hoped to use the launch of my new book as a platform to bring awareness to other voices doing important work. I was thrilled when Kerry agreed to be a part of our Culture Talks panel event, but it became icing on the cake when we got together for a 'coffee chat' the next morning (which became podcast episode #203). Before we wrapped, Kerry suggested that we would do a book club for MAR members! She could see how not only members would benefit, but the potential of the MAR community to make a huge difference both in their own families, communities and the rest of the world.
We're calling it a 'book club' because it's based on the book Parenting Beyond Power - but it's really so much more! The book club will also be informed by many of the workshops I conducted during the book launch tour.
You'll get live coaching - whether or not you're the one being coached, you'll leave with powerful insights into your own feelings and needs, and your children's difficult behavior as well.
When you participate, you will:
And feel free to bring your favorite beverage when we get together on Zoom ;-)
In the Fall of 2023, I hoped to use the launch of my new book as a platform to bring awareness to other voices doing important work. I was thrilled when Kerry agreed to be a part of our Culture Talks panel event, but it became icing on the cake when we got together for a 'coffee chat' the next morning (which became podcast episode #203). Before we wrapped, Kerry suggested that we would do a book club for MAR members! She could see how not only members would benefit, but the potential of the MAR community to make a huge difference both in their own families, communities and the rest of the world.
We're calling it a 'book club' because it's based on the book Parenting Beyond Power - but it's really so much more! The book club will also be informed by many of the workshops I conducted during the book launch tour.
You'll get live coaching - whether or not you're the one being coached, you'll leave with powerful insights into your own feelings and needs, and your children's difficult behavior as well.
When you participate, you will:
- Understand (without being lectured!) how White supremacy, patriarchy, and capitalism have hurt you - even if you're White or White-presenting and financially privileged
- Begin to heal the hurts you've experienced in community with like-minded parents
- See the underlying causes of the frustration, anger, and resentment you feel (sometimes or often) toward your children and/or partner
- Decode your children's irritating, mystifying behavior so you can know why they're doing these things that drive you up the wall
- Discover ways to meet your needs and your child's needs most of the time - leading to greater joy, peace, and ease
And feel free to bring your favorite beverage when we get together on Zoom ;-)
A chat over coffee illuminated how
Parenting Beyond Power needed to be shared with the MAR community
Parenting Beyond Power needed to be shared with the MAR community
For yourself, for your kids, for your partner & for your community...
In the Fall of 2023, I hoped to use the launch of my new book as a platform to bring awareness to other voices doing important work. I was thrilled when Kerry agreed to be a part of our Culture Talks panel event, but it became icing on the cake when we got together for a 'coffee chat' the next morning (which became podcast episode #203). Before we wrapped, Kerry suggested that we would do a book club for MAR members! She could see how not only members would benefit, but the potential of the MAR community to make a huge difference both in their own families, communities and the rest of the world.
We're calling it a 'book club' because it's based on the book Parenting Beyond Power - but it's really so much more! The book club will also be informed by many of the workshops I conducted during the book launch tour.
You'll get live coaching - whether or not you're the one being coached, you'll leave with powerful insights into your own feelings and needs, and your children's difficult behavior as well.
You'll get live coaching - whether or not you're the one being coached, you'll leave with powerful insights into your own feelings and needs, and your children's difficult behavior as well.
When you participate, you will:
And feel free to bring your favorite beverage when we get together on Zoom ;-)
- Understand (without being lectured!) how White supremacy, patriarchy, and capitalism have hurt you - even if you're White or White-presenting and financially privileged
- Begin to heal the hurts you've experienced in community with like-minded parents
- See the underlying causes of the frustration, anger, and resentment you feel (sometimes or often) toward your children and/or partner
- Decode your children's irritating, mystifying behavior so you can know why they're doing these things that drive you up the wall
- Discover ways to meet your needs and your child's needs most of the time - leading to greater joy, peace, and ease
And feel free to bring your favorite beverage when we get together on Zoom ;-)
A look back to when this book club was just an idea...
Your Parenting Mojo Special Episode: Interview with Moms Against Racism (MAR) Canada Founder, Kerry Cavers
Jen and Kerry connected through the Culture TALKS Vancouver event, and immediately discovered the connections across their very different life experiences.
The morning after the panel event, Kerry shared what it's like growing up (and currently living in) a multi-racial family, why she started MAR Canada and how each of us can play a role in a truly anti-racist world.
Jen and Kerry connected through the Culture TALKS Vancouver event, and immediately discovered the connections across their very different life experiences.
The morning after the panel event, Kerry shared what it's like growing up (and currently living in) a multi-racial family, why she started MAR Canada and how each of us can play a role in a truly anti-racist world.
Connect with us!
© Jen Lumanlan 2024 - All Rights Reserved
Your Parenting Mojo acknowledges the Lisjan Ohlone people, the rightful stewards of the land on which we live and work. While the Lisjan Ohlone people can never be fully compensated for the harms that the legacy of colonialism has wrought, we pay the Shuumi Land Tax as recognition that more than words are needed, and we encourage others to engage meaningfully (including financially) with their local Indigenous communities.