Research-based ideas
to help kids thrive
PARENTING BEYOND POWER
PARENTING BEYOND POWER
- A Transformative BOOK CLUB for MAR Members -
- A Transformative BOOK CLUB for MAR Members -
Co-Hosted by Kerry Cavers & Jen Lumanlan
Co-Hosted by Kerry Cavers & Jen Lumanlan
Starts March 28 @ 6p Pacific | 6 Sessions
Starts March 28 @ 6p Pacific | 6 Sessions
"An opportunity to take anti-racist action, starting at home - while making parenting easier - WOW!"
"An opportunity to take anti-racist action, starting at home - while making parenting easier - WOW!"
When I met Jen during her book tour, it immediately struck me how she connected many of the challenges we have in the world with the day-to-day struggles we have at home.
Jen's work has been transformational for my own family, and it became a priority to connect her and her book with our community. Anti-racist action that ends up making parenting easier at home - wow!
- Kerry, Founder MAR Canada
Jen's work has been transformational for my own family, and it became a priority to connect her and her book with our community. Anti-racist action that ends up making parenting easier at home - wow!
- Kerry, Founder MAR Canada
Our kids don't just learn racism out in the world…they also learn it at home, despite our very best intentions. See it, interrupt it, heal it - and make parenting easier too!
Developing a friendship with Kerry has been an honor and a privilege. I really believe that together we can help change the world, starting in our own homes, with our own families - I can't wait to meet you.
- Jen, Author & Creator of Your Parenting Mojo Podcast
Our kids don't just learn racism out in the world…they also learn it at home, despite our very best intentions. See it, interrupt it, heal it - and make parenting easier too!
Developing a friendship with Kerry has been an honor and a privilege. I really believe that together we can help change the world, starting in our own homes, with our own families - I can't wait to meet you.
- Jen, Author & Creator of Your Parenting Mojo Podcast
Developing a friendship with Kerry has been an honor and a privilege. I really believe that together we can help change the world, starting in our own homes, with our own families - I can't wait to meet you.
- Jen, Author & Creator of Your Parenting Mojo Podcast
Starts March 28 @ 6pm Pacific | Get together every 2 weeks for deep group discussions & live coaching with Jen (6 Sessions) | Take action & do deep anti-racist work at home that has a ripple effect out to the rest of the world! | For parents with kids aged 1-12
Starts March 28 @ 6pm Pacific | Get together every 2 weeks for deep group discussions & live coaching with Jen (6 Sessions) | Take action & do deep anti-racist work at home that has a ripple effect out to the rest of the world! | For parents with kids aged 1-12
PARENTING BEYOND
POWER | Book Club*
PARENTING BEYOND
POWER | Book Club*
POWER | Book Club*
- For MAR Members -
- For MAR Members -
Co-Hosted by
Kerry Cavers & Jen Lumanlan
Co-Hosted by
Kerry Cavers & Jen Lumanlan
Kerry Cavers & Jen Lumanlan
March 28 @ 6pm Pacific
- 6 Sessions -
March 28 @ 6pm Pacific
- 6 Sessions -
- 6 Sessions -
"An opportunity to take anti-racist action, starting at home - while making parenting easier - WOW!"
"An opportunity to take anti-racist action, starting at home - while making parenting easier - WOW!"
When I met Jen during her book tour, it immediately struck me how she connected many of the challenges we have in the world with the day-to-day struggles we have at home.
Jen's work has been transformational for my own family, and it became a priority to connect her and her book with our community. Anti-racist action that ends up making parenting easier at home - wow!
- Kerry, Founder MAR Canada
Jen's work has been transformational for my own family, and it became a priority to connect her and her book with our community. Anti-racist action that ends up making parenting easier at home - wow!
- Kerry, Founder MAR Canada
Our kids don't just learn racism out in the world…they also learn it at home, despite our very best intentions. See it, interrupt it, heal it - and make parenting easier too!
Developing a friendship with Kerry has been an honor and a privilege. I really believe that together we can help change the world, starting in our own homes, with our own families - I can't wait to meet you.
- Jen, Author & Creator of
Your Parenting Mojo Podcast
Our kids don't just learn racism out in the world…they also learn it at home, despite our very best intentions. See it, interrupt it, heal it - and make parenting easier too!
Developing a friendship with Kerry has been an honor and a privilege. I really believe that together we can help change the world, starting in our own homes, with our own families - I can't wait to meet you.
Developing a friendship with Kerry has been an honor and a privilege. I really believe that together we can help change the world, starting in our own homes, with our own families - I can't wait to meet you.
- Jen, Author & Creator of
Your Parenting Mojo Podcast
Your Parenting Mojo Podcast
Starts March 28 @ 6p Pacific | Get together every 2 weeks for deep group discussions & live coaching with Jen (6 Sessions) | Take action & do deep anti-racist work at home that has a ripple effect out to the rest of the world! | For parents with kids aged 1-12
Starts March 28 @ 6p Pacific | Get together every 2 weeks for deep group discussions & live coaching with Jen (6 Sessions) | Take action & do deep anti-racist work at home that has a ripple effect out to the rest of the world! | For parents with kids aged 1-12
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Divider Text
Previous participants describe - sometimes through tears! - how they've begun to:
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Notice how White supremacy, patriarchy, and capitalism show up in their parenting
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Parent using collaboration rather than power
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Be on the same team with their partner
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Disrupt cycles of intergenerational trauma
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Experience joy in parenting!
Such a special opportunity
for MAR Members
Such a special opportunity
for MAR Members
for MAR Members
A book club with benefits, with tangible action -
and a catalyst for real change!
Typically an opportunity like this one, with deep and impactful group coaching hosted by Jen - that makes it so much more than your standard book club - would cost several hundred dollars per person. Thanks to a grant funding from the Government of Canada, we can offer MAR members greatly reduced rates.
It's a dream-come-true to be able to bring this amazing opportunity to you. As parents, this is such a great way to "do anti-racist work" while reaping previously unimaginable parenting benefits like fewer tantrums, more collaboration, more alignment with our parenting partner, and best of all - more overall ease at home.
and a catalyst for real change!
Typically an opportunity like this one, with deep and impactful group coaching hosted by Jen - that makes it so much more than your standard book club - would cost several hundred dollars per person. Thanks to a grant funding from the Government of Canada, we can offer MAR members greatly reduced rates.
It's a dream-come-true to be able to bring this amazing opportunity to you. As parents, this is such a great way to "do anti-racist work" while reaping previously unimaginable parenting benefits like fewer tantrums, more collaboration, more alignment with our parenting partner, and best of all - more overall ease at home.
Through the Book Club, you will:
- Develop an even deeper relationship with your kids
- Create new and build on existing MAR parent-to-parent relationships within the community
- Get greater clarity on learning racism and how racism starts at home
- See how white supremacy played a role in our upbringing, it's impact on our own parenting and work toward healing your own hurts
- Embrace a deeper sense of self-acceptance: we can get things wrong and not be perfect, both in parenting and anti-racism work
- Dismantle the power-over dynamic with our children, and model anti-racist power-sharing tools that they can also use with siblings and peers
I'm still pinching myself when I look at how far our MAR community has come. I really hope you will join us for this opportunity that can have such a profound impact in our families - and the wider world as well.
- Kerry Cavers, Founder & Board President
of Moms Against Racism Canada
- Kerry Cavers, Founder & Board President
of Moms Against Racism Canada
Jen & Kerry sharing a laugh in Vancouver Fall of 2023 the day after Culture Talks Panel Event, where a seed of this book club was formed.
Such a special opportunity
for MAR Members
Such a special opportunity
for MAR Members
for MAR Members
A book club with benefits, with tangible action - and a catalyst for real change!
Typically an opportunity like this one, with deep and impactful group coaching hosted by Jen - that makes it so much more than your standard book club - would cost several hundred dollars per person. Thanks to a grant funding from the Government of Canada, we can offer MAR members greatly reduced rates.
It's a dream-come-true to be able to bring this amazing opportunity to you. As parents, this is such a great way to "do anti-racist work" while reaping previously unimaginable parenting benefits like fewer tantrums, more collaboration, more alignment with our parenting partner, and best of all - more overall ease at home.
Typically an opportunity like this one, with deep and impactful group coaching hosted by Jen - that makes it so much more than your standard book club - would cost several hundred dollars per person. Thanks to a grant funding from the Government of Canada, we can offer MAR members greatly reduced rates.
It's a dream-come-true to be able to bring this amazing opportunity to you. As parents, this is such a great way to "do anti-racist work" while reaping previously unimaginable parenting benefits like fewer tantrums, more collaboration, more alignment with our parenting partner, and best of all - more overall ease at home.
Through the Book Club, you will:
- Develop an even deeper relationship with your kids
- Create new and build on existing MAR parent-to-parent relationships within the community
- Get greater clarity on learning racism and how racism starts at home
- See how white supremacy played a role in our upbringing, it's impact on our own parenting and work toward healing your own hurts
- Embrace a deeper sense of self-acceptance: we can get things wrong and not be perfect, both in parenting and anti-racism work
- Dismantle the power-over dynamic with our children, and model anti-racist power-sharing tools that they can also use with siblings and peers
I'm still pinching myself when I look at how far our MAR community has come. I really hope you will join us for this opportunity that can have such a profound impact in our families - and the wider world as well.
- Kerry Cavers, Founder
& Board President Moms Against Racism Canada
- Kerry Cavers, Founder
& Board President Moms Against Racism Canada
Jen & Kerry sharing a laugh in Vancouver Fall of 2023 the day after Culture Talks Panel Event, where a seed of this book club was formed.
s
At its core, racism is about power…
At its core, racism is about power…
Racism is a system of discrimination based on race or ethnicity. It's rooted in White supremacy ideology that links Whiteness with goodness, purity, and value.
Because Whiteness, and therefore White people, are considered superior, they (or we, in Jen’s case) have more power. White people get to decide things like the ‘correct’ way of speaking, who has access to public services, and who goes to jail and for what crimes.
Our children learn about power from the media they consume and from school - but they first learn it from us, their parents and caregivers.
Because Whiteness, and therefore White people, are considered superior, they (or we, in Jen’s case) have more power. White people get to decide things like the ‘correct’ way of speaking, who has access to public services, and who goes to jail and for what crimes.
Our children learn about power from the media they consume and from school - but they first learn it from us, their parents and caregivers.
At its core, racism is
about power…
At its core, racism is
about power…
about power…
Racism is a system of discrimination based on race or ethnicity. It's rooted in White supremacy ideology that links Whiteness with goodness, purity, and value.
Because Whiteness, and therefore White people, are considered superior, they (or we, in Jen’s case) have more power. White people get to decide things like the ‘correct’ way of speaking, who has access to public services, and who goes to jail and for what crimes.
Our children learn about power from the media they consume and from school - but they first learn it from us, their parents and caregivers.
Because Whiteness, and therefore White people, are considered superior, they (or we, in Jen’s case) have more power. White people get to decide things like the ‘correct’ way of speaking, who has access to public services, and who goes to jail and for what crimes.
Our children learn about power from the media they consume and from school - but they first learn it from us, their parents and caregivers.
Kids learn more from what we do, than from what we say
Kids learn more from what we do, than from what we say
Yes, White parents and Parents of Colour must continue to talk with our kids about race and racism. We can never stop doing that work.
But if we’re:
- Diversifying our bookshelf
- Attending anti-racism marches
- Talking with our kids about race
...while using our power to get them to listen, they’ll take the “power-over” lesson from our actions rather than our words.
They’ll learn that more powerful people can and should use their power over others, which is the core of racism and White supremacy.
But if we’re:
- Diversifying our bookshelf
- Attending anti-racism marches
- Talking with our kids about race
...while using our power to get them to listen, they’ll take the “power-over” lesson from our actions rather than our words.
They’ll learn that more powerful people can and should use their power over others, which is the core of racism and White supremacy.
Kids learn more from what we do, than
from what we say
Kids learn more from what we do, than
from what we say
from what we say
Yes, White parents and Parents of Colour must continue to talk with our kids about race and racism. We can never stop doing that work.
But if we’re:
- Diversifying our bookshelf
- Attending anti-racism marches
- Talking with our kids about race
...while using our power to get them to listen, they’ll take the “power-over” lesson from our actions rather than our words.
They’ll learn that more powerful people can and should use their power over others, which is the core of racism and White supremacy.
But if we’re:
- Diversifying our bookshelf
- Attending anti-racism marches
- Talking with our kids about race
...while using our power to get them to listen, they’ll take the “power-over” lesson from our actions rather than our words.
They’ll learn that more powerful people can and should use their power over others, which is the core of racism and White supremacy.
Our children learn how to use power… from us
Our children learn how to use power… from us
We use power in many of our daily interactions with our kids. When we decide what behavior we want to see and then we coerce them into producing it, we’re using our power over them.
Kid refusing to sit on the potty? Break out the Jolly Ranchers.
Kid won’t do their homework? Maybe we try rewards (like screen time) first but then end up nagging, pleading, and then threatening punishments.
Kid has a massive meltdown because they don’t want to leave the park? Perhaps we try promised rewards AND threatened punishments - and then physically force their body into the car.
Kid won’t do their homework? Maybe we try rewards (like screen time) first but then end up nagging, pleading, and then threatening punishments.
Kid has a massive meltdown because they don’t want to leave the park? Perhaps we try promised rewards AND threatened punishments - and then physically force their body into the car.
Our children learn how to use power… from us
Our children learn how to use power… from us
We use power in many of our daily interactions with our kids. When we decide what behavior we want to see and then we coerce them into producing it, we’re using our power over them.
Kid refusing to sit on the potty? Break out the Jolly Ranchers.
Kid won’t do their homework? Maybe we try rewards (like screen time) first but then end up nagging, pleading, and then threatening punishments.
Kid has a massive meltdown because they don’t want to leave the park? Perhaps we try promised rewards AND threatened punishments - and then physically force their body into the car.
Kid won’t do their homework? Maybe we try rewards (like screen time) first but then end up nagging, pleading, and then threatening punishments.
Kid has a massive meltdown because they don’t want to leave the park? Perhaps we try promised rewards AND threatened punishments - and then physically force their body into the car.
“But I don’t have a choice!”
“But I don’t have a choice!”
“I believe in gentle/respectful parenting in principle, but it doesn’t ‘work’ all the time. If I didn’t force my kid to do these things, nothing would ever happen!
Nobody can say I yell as much as my Mom yelled at me, but I do still yell…more than I’d like.
I don’t like using power over them - it isn’t aligned with my values and I often feel guilt or even shame afterward - but what else am I supposed to do when they won’t listen to me?”
Nobody can say I yell as much as my Mom yelled at me, but I do still yell…more than I’d like.
I don’t like using power over them - it isn’t aligned with my values and I often feel guilt or even shame afterward - but what else am I supposed to do when they won’t listen to me?”
Parenting doesn’t have to be this hard
Parenting doesn’t have to be this hard
Even if we’re trying to parent differently from the way we were raised, when things get stressful, everything we’ve learned from podcasts, books, and Instagram memes flies out the window - we’re right back to controlling our children in the same way our parents tried to control us.
But it doesn’t have to be this way.
If things seem hard right now, it’s because you don’t clearly understand your needs, and your child’s needs. Instead, you’ve decided on one strategy you want to use, your child is locked into their strategy, and you’re at an impasse.
But it doesn’t have to be this way.
If things seem hard right now, it’s because you don’t clearly understand your needs, and your child’s needs. Instead, you’ve decided on one strategy you want to use, your child is locked into their strategy, and you’re at an impasse.
It’s possible to meet
your child’s needs…
and your needs as well
It’s possible to meet
your child’s needs…
and your needs as well
your child’s needs…
and your needs as well
and I can show
you how!
you how!
Parenting doesn’t
have to be this hard
Parenting doesn’t
have to be this hard
have to be this hard
Even if we’re trying to parent differently from the way we were raised, when things get stressful, everything we’ve learned from podcasts, books, and Instagram memes flies out the window - we’re right back to controlling our children in the same way our parents tried to control us.
But it doesn’t have to be this way.
If things seem hard right now, it’s because you don’t clearly understand your needs, and your child’s needs. Instead, you’ve decided on one strategy you want to use, your child is locked into their strategy, and you’re at an impasse.
But it doesn’t have to be this way.
If things seem hard right now, it’s because you don’t clearly understand your needs, and your child’s needs. Instead, you’ve decided on one strategy you want to use, your child is locked into their strategy, and you’re at an impasse.
It’s possible to meet
your child’s needs…
and your needs as well
It’s possible to meet
your child’s needs…
and your needs as well
your child’s needs…
and your needs as well
and I can show
you how!
and I can show
you how!
you how!
Hi, I’m Jen
Hi, I’m Jen
I host the Your Parenting Mojo podcast, which has been downloaded over 3.5 million times and was named Best Research-Based Parenting Podcast by Lifehacker. My work has been featured in media with national and international reach and my book, Parenting Beyond Power: How to Use Connection and Collaboration to Transform Your Family - and the World has a 5 star rating on Amazon.
I have a deep passion for supporting both parents and children. While conventional disciplinary tools can hurt children and Gentle Parenting can hurt parents (as parents prioritize children's needs over their own), I help parents uncover and use strategies that meet both people's needs.
The result is a more harmonious family life today, because we don't experience frustration, anger, or resentment when our own needs are met. And in the longer term, we will raise children who understand and can advocate for their own needs - while deeply respecting others' needs as well.
I have a deep passion for supporting both parents and children. While conventional disciplinary tools can hurt children and Gentle Parenting can hurt parents (as parents prioritize children's needs over their own), I help parents uncover and use strategies that meet both people's needs.
The result is a more harmonious family life today, because we don't experience frustration, anger, or resentment when our own needs are met. And in the longer term, we will raise children who understand and can advocate for their own needs - while deeply respecting others' needs as well.
Hi, I’m Jen
Hi, I’m Jen
I host the Your Parenting Mojo podcast, which has been downloaded over 3.5 million times and was named Best Research-Based Parenting Podcast by Lifehacker. My work has been featured in media with national and international reach and my book, Parenting Beyond Power: How to Use Connection and Collaboration to Transform Your Family - and the World has a 5 star rating on Amazon.
I have a deep passion for supporting both parents and children. While conventional disciplinary tools can hurt children and Gentle Parenting can hurt parents (as parents prioritize children's needs over their own), I help parents uncover and use strategies that meet their children's needs - and their own as well.
The result is a more harmonious family life today, because we don't experience frustration, anger, or resentment when our own needs are met. And in the longer term, we will raise children who understand and can advocate for their own needs - while deeply respecting the needs of others as well.
I have a deep passion for supporting both parents and children. While conventional disciplinary tools can hurt children and Gentle Parenting can hurt parents (as parents prioritize children's needs over their own), I help parents uncover and use strategies that meet their children's needs - and their own as well.
The result is a more harmonious family life today, because we don't experience frustration, anger, or resentment when our own needs are met. And in the longer term, we will raise children who understand and can advocate for their own needs - while deeply respecting the needs of others as well.
My Anti-Racist Journey
My Anti-Racist Journey
In 2018, I produced a podcast episode on the impact of intergenerational trauma. I wondered about the impact of enslavement as well as ongoing racism on Black people’s present-day experience and I reached out to a Black friend and fellow podcaster to ask if she thought it would be appropriate for me to produce an episode on this topic.
She (way more kindly and gently than was necessary) inquired whether I had ever examined the role of Whiteness in my life.
To which I replied: “Ummm…what???”
This launched my journey to understand Whiteness, White supremacy, and how I - a progressive living in Berkeley, California who had a decent understanding of systemic racism - have benefited from my unearned privilege.
I’m not perfect. I don’t have this all ‘figured out.’ I make mistakes on the regular (Kerry has 'called me in'!).
But I have an easy, joyful relationship with my daughter, because we know how to understand and meet each other’s needs most of the time. I see her noticing and challenging systems of power inside and outside our home - and making sure other people’s needs get met alongside her own.
I’ve also helped thousands of parents to learn and use these tools through courses and memberships, and I’m excited to share them with you.
She (way more kindly and gently than was necessary) inquired whether I had ever examined the role of Whiteness in my life.
To which I replied: “Ummm…what???”
This launched my journey to understand Whiteness, White supremacy, and how I - a progressive living in Berkeley, California who had a decent understanding of systemic racism - have benefited from my unearned privilege.
I’m not perfect. I don’t have this all ‘figured out.’ I make mistakes on the regular (Kerry has 'called me in'!).
But I have an easy, joyful relationship with my daughter, because we know how to understand and meet each other’s needs most of the time. I see her noticing and challenging systems of power inside and outside our home - and making sure other people’s needs get met alongside her own.
I’ve also helped thousands of parents to learn and use these tools through courses and memberships, and I’m excited to share them with you.
A chat over coffee illuminated how
Parenting Beyond Power needed to
be shared with the MAR community
Parenting Beyond Power needed to
be shared with the MAR community
For yourself, for your kids, for your partner & for your community...
In the Fall of 2023, I hoped to use the launch of my new book as a platform to bring awareness to other voices doing important work. I was thrilled when Kerry agreed to be a part of our Culture Talks panel event, but it became icing on the cake when we got together for a 'coffee chat' the next morning (which became podcast episode #203). Before we wrapped, Kerry suggested that we would do a book club for MAR members! She could see how not only members would benefit, but the potential of the MAR community to make a huge difference both in their own families, communities and the rest of the world.
We're calling it a 'book club' because it's based on the book Parenting Beyond Power - but it's really so much more! The book club will also be informed by many of the workshops I conducted during the book launch tour.
You'll get live coaching - whether or not you're the one being coached, you'll leave with powerful insights into your own feelings and needs, and your children's difficult behavior as well.
When you participate, you will:
And feel free to bring your favorite beverage when we get together on Zoom ;-)
In the Fall of 2023, I hoped to use the launch of my new book as a platform to bring awareness to other voices doing important work. I was thrilled when Kerry agreed to be a part of our Culture Talks panel event, but it became icing on the cake when we got together for a 'coffee chat' the next morning (which became podcast episode #203). Before we wrapped, Kerry suggested that we would do a book club for MAR members! She could see how not only members would benefit, but the potential of the MAR community to make a huge difference both in their own families, communities and the rest of the world.
We're calling it a 'book club' because it's based on the book Parenting Beyond Power - but it's really so much more! The book club will also be informed by many of the workshops I conducted during the book launch tour.
You'll get live coaching - whether or not you're the one being coached, you'll leave with powerful insights into your own feelings and needs, and your children's difficult behavior as well.
When you participate, you will:
- Understand (without being lectured!) how White supremacy, patriarchy, and capitalism have hurt you - even if you're White or White-presenting and financially privileged
- Begin to heal the hurts you've experienced in community with like-minded parents
- See the underlying causes of the frustration, anger, and resentment you feel (sometimes or often) toward your children and/or partner
- Decode your children's irritating, mystifying behavior so you can know why they're doing these things that drive you up the wall
- Discover ways to meet your needs and your child's needs most of the time - leading to greater joy, peace, and ease
And feel free to bring your favorite beverage when we get together on Zoom ;-)
A chat over coffee illuminated how
Parenting Beyond Power needed to be shared with the MAR community
Parenting Beyond Power needed to be shared with the MAR community
For yourself, for your kids, for your partner & for your community...
In the Fall of 2023, I hoped to use the launch of my new book as a platform to bring awareness to other voices doing important work. I was thrilled when Kerry agreed to be a part of our Culture Talks panel event, but it became icing on the cake when we got together for a 'coffee chat' the next morning (which became podcast episode #203).
Before we wrapped, Kerry suggested that we would do a book club for MAR members! She could see how not only members would benefit, but the potential of the MAR community to make a huge difference both in their own families, communities and the rest of the world.
We're calling it a 'book club' because it's based on the book Parenting Beyond Power - but it's really so much more! The book club will also be informed by many of the workshops I conducted during the book launch tour.
You'll get live coaching - whether or not you're the one being coached, you'll leave with powerful insights into your own feelings and needs, and your children's difficult behavior as well.
You'll get live coaching - whether or not you're the one being coached, you'll leave with powerful insights into your own feelings and needs, and your children's difficult behavior as well.
When you participate, you will:
And feel free to bring your favorite beverage when we get together on Zoom ;-)
- Understand (without being lectured!) how White supremacy, patriarchy, and capitalism have hurt you - even if you're White or White-presenting and financially privileged
- Begin to heal the hurts you've experienced in community with like-minded parents
- See the underlying causes of the frustration, anger, and resentment you feel (sometimes or often) toward your children and/or partner
- Decode your children's irritating, mystifying behavior so you can know why they're doing these things that drive you up the wall
- Discover ways to meet your needs and your child's needs most of the time - leading to greater joy, peace, and ease
And feel free to bring your favorite beverage when we get together on Zoom ;-)
Join us in 5 Easy Steps
Join us in 5 Easy Steps
The Parenting Beyond Power Book Club
with Jen & Kerry starts March 28 @ 6pm Pacific
The Parenting Beyond Power Book Club
with Jen & Kerry starts March 28 @ 6pm Pacific
with Jen & Kerry starts March 28 @ 6pm Pacific
1
Sign up on this page
2
Read the book Parenting Beyond Power: How to Use Connection and Collaboration to Transform Your Family - and the World, over 12 weeks. We'll send you a reading schedule of ~2 chapters every 2 weeks: you do NOT have to read the entire book before the workshop starts!
3
Join author Jen Lumanlan and MAR Canada founder Kerry Cavers every two weeks for six 90-minute group coaching sessions starting the Friday March 28 (recorded in case you can’t attend live) & connect with other parents who share your values. If lots of people join then we may add another all at 11am Pacific
4
Practice the ideas with your kids, making parenting easier immediately!
5
Watch your children dismantle White supremacist (and patriarchal! and capitalist!) systems as they see that other people’s needs are as important as their own - and deserve to be met just as much as theirs
Join us in
5 Easy Steps
Join us in
5 Easy Steps
5 Easy Steps
The Parenting Beyond Power Book Club with Jen & Kerry starts March 28 @ 6pm Pacific
The Parenting Beyond Power Book Club with Jen & Kerry starts March 28 @ 6pm Pacific
1
Sign up on this page
2
Read the book Parenting Beyond Power: How to Use Connection and Collaboration to Transform Your Family - and the World, in 12 weeks. We'll send you a reading schedule of ~2 chapters every 2 weeks: you do NOT have to read the entire book before the workshop starts!
3
Join author Jen Lumanlan and MAR Canada founder Kerry Cavers every two weeks for six 90-minute group coaching sessions starting March 28 at 6pm Pacific (recorded in case you can’t attend live) & connect with other parents who share your values. If lots of people sign up we may add a call at 11am Pacific
4
Practice the ideas with your kids, making parenting easier immediately!
5
Watch your children dismantle White supremacist (and patriarchal! and capitalist!) systems as they see that other people’s needs are as important as their own - and deserve to be met just as much as theirs
Feedback from previous workshop participants
“My one key goal for joining this book club was really to just even know how White supremacy, patriarchy, and capitalism work - because I really couldn't get it.
And I can confidently say that I'm now starting to see it."
And I can confidently say that I'm now starting to see it."
— Parent CG
“I was parented in a very authoritarian way - capitalism and White supremacy were huge. The book club has been so helpful on my long journey of reparenting myself, unlearning old tools and learning new ones."
— Parent Amanda
“I was using a fair amount of 'gentle' coercion like "We need to..." and "It's time to...". That would really just set off the resistance with my eldest child right away, and things would quickly escalate.
That has really changed. I feel a lot more connected to him and he's been sharing things with me that show he really trusts me.”
That has really changed. I feel a lot more connected to him and he's been sharing things with me that show he really trusts me.”
— Parent Monica
“I loved my chats with other parents. They really validated that my needs are important, and then it was so easy to talk about how to ask my child instead of demanding.”
— Parent Mona
“Before this course, things with my kids felt really muddled. I could sense there was a power struggle, but I didn't know that's what it was.
The book club has given me a huge breath of ease. I feel so much joy in parenting, and in my kids!”
The book club has given me a huge breath of ease. I feel so much joy in parenting, and in my kids!”
— Parent Stephanie
Feedback from parents I’ve coached using the methods you’ll learn
“My one key goal for joining this book club was really to just even know how White supremacy, patriarchy, and capitalism work - because I really couldn't get it.
And I can confidently say that I'm now starting to see it."
And I can confidently say that I'm now starting to see it."
— Parent CG
“I was parented in a very authoritarian way - capitalism and White supremacy were huge. The book club has been so helpful on my long journey of reparenting myself, unlearning old tools and learning new ones."
— Parent Amanda
“I was using a fair amount of 'gentle' coercion like "We need to..." and "It's time to...". That would really just set off the resistance with my eldest child right away, and things would quickly escalate.
That has really changed. I feel a lot more connected to him and he's been sharing things with me that show he really trusts me.”
That has really changed. I feel a lot more connected to him and he's been sharing things with me that show he really trusts me.”
— Parent Monica
“I loved my chats with other parents. They really validated that my needs are important, and then it was so easy to talk about how to ask my child instead of demanding.”
— Parent Mona
“Before this course, things with my kids felt really muddled. I could sense there was a power struggle, but I didn't know that's what it was.
The book club has given me a huge breath of ease. I feel so much joy in parenting, and in my kids!”
The book club has given me a huge breath of ease. I feel so much joy in parenting, and in my kids!”
— Parent Stephanie
Want more info?
Book Club 411...
Want more info?
Book Club 411...
Book Club 411...
We ask that you purchase or borrow the book/audiobook. If it isn't available at your local library, you can request they carry it.
After you sign up, we’ll give you a suggested reading/listening schedule to help you get the most out of the coaching calls. However, you aren’t required to have read/listened to participate.
We’ll meet for 90 minutes every other week for 12 weeks (6 calls total). Calls will be recorded in case you can’t attend live, but we strongly encourage active participation for you to get the most out of our time together.
After you sign up, we’ll give you a suggested reading/listening schedule to help you get the most out of the coaching calls. However, you aren’t required to have read/listened to participate.
We’ll meet for 90 minutes every other week for 12 weeks (6 calls total). Calls will be recorded in case you can’t attend live, but we strongly encourage active participation for you to get the most out of our time together.
Here's our schedule:
Call 1: Introduction to parents and beginning to identify our hurts. Meet fellow parents; learn about the ways we’ve been harmed by White supremacy, patriarchy, and capitalism by connecting the concepts to our past experiences (this will be a deeply intimate discussion, not a lecture!)
Call 2: Introducing the problem-solving approach to make parenting easier. We’ll coach one or more parents through a representative challenging situation (Tooth brushing refusal...dragging out bedtimes...attitude...) so you can see the problem solving process in action. You’ll learn how to find strategies that meet your and your child’s needs, so you can end the power struggles in your home!
In the remaining calls we’ll break down the problem solving approach and spend a call focused on each component, so you can get really comfortable applying the ideas in your specific situation.
Call 3: How to shift from judgment to non-judgmental observations. Judgments in our heads tell us about things that are important to us. But when we speak them aloud, they put us in a position of power and tell others that they don’t measure up to our standards. Learn how to use your judgments to understand your experience, and transform your words into observations that invite others to meet both of your needs.
Call 4: Understanding feelings leads to empathy. When we take the time to understand someone else’s feelings - without the need to ‘fix’ these or make the person feel better - their need to be seen, heard, and understood is often met. It also sets the stage for us to be able to access the empathy and curiosity necessary for us to identify each of our needs.
Call 5: Understanding needs leads to strategies that meet both of our needs. It can often seem like our needs conflict with our child’s needs - and only one of them can be met. Actually, the strategies we use to meet needs can conflict; when we work with needs we can almost always find multiple strategies to meet our needs - and our child’s needs as well.
Call 6: Making requests creates a culture of consent. Because we're bigger and stronger and they seek our approval, we can often use our power to get our child to do something we want them to do. (If they refuse, we call them 'defiant.') We'll move toward using requests that create a culture of consent and collaboration in your home.
Note: If needed, we may adjust the schedule by group agreement. The agenda works for us; we don't work for it!
Call 2: Introducing the problem-solving approach to make parenting easier. We’ll coach one or more parents through a representative challenging situation (Tooth brushing refusal...dragging out bedtimes...attitude...) so you can see the problem solving process in action. You’ll learn how to find strategies that meet your and your child’s needs, so you can end the power struggles in your home!
In the remaining calls we’ll break down the problem solving approach and spend a call focused on each component, so you can get really comfortable applying the ideas in your specific situation.
Call 3: How to shift from judgment to non-judgmental observations. Judgments in our heads tell us about things that are important to us. But when we speak them aloud, they put us in a position of power and tell others that they don’t measure up to our standards. Learn how to use your judgments to understand your experience, and transform your words into observations that invite others to meet both of your needs.
Call 4: Understanding feelings leads to empathy. When we take the time to understand someone else’s feelings - without the need to ‘fix’ these or make the person feel better - their need to be seen, heard, and understood is often met. It also sets the stage for us to be able to access the empathy and curiosity necessary for us to identify each of our needs.
Call 5: Understanding needs leads to strategies that meet both of our needs. It can often seem like our needs conflict with our child’s needs - and only one of them can be met. Actually, the strategies we use to meet needs can conflict; when we work with needs we can almost always find multiple strategies to meet our needs - and our child’s needs as well.
Call 6: Making requests creates a culture of consent. Because we're bigger and stronger and they seek our approval, we can often use our power to get our child to do something we want them to do. (If they refuse, we call them 'defiant.') We'll move toward using requests that create a culture of consent and collaboration in your home.
Note: If needed, we may adjust the schedule by group agreement. The agenda works for us; we don't work for it!
Want more info?
Book Club 411...
Want more info?
Book Club 411...
Book Club 411...
We ask that you purchase or borrow the book/audiobook. If it isn't available at your local library, you can request they carry it.
After you sign up, we’ll give you a suggested reading/listening schedule to help you get the most out of the coaching calls. However, you aren’t required to have read/listened to participate.
We’ll meet for 90 minutes every other week for 12 weeks (6 calls total). Calls will be recorded in case you can’t attend live, but we strongly encourage active participation for you to get the most out of our time together.
After you sign up, we’ll give you a suggested reading/listening schedule to help you get the most out of the coaching calls. However, you aren’t required to have read/listened to participate.
We’ll meet for 90 minutes every other week for 12 weeks (6 calls total). Calls will be recorded in case you can’t attend live, but we strongly encourage active participation for you to get the most out of our time together.
Here’s what
we’re planning:
we’re planning:
Call 1: Introduction to parents and beginning to identify our hurts. Meet fellow parents; learn about the ways we’ve been harmed by White supremacy, patriarchy, and capitalism by connecting the concepts to our past experiences (this will be a deeply intimate discussion, not a lecture!)
Call 2: Introducing the problem-solving approach to make parenting easier. We’ll coach one or more parents through a representative challenging situation (Tooth brushing refusal...dragging out bedtimes...attitude...) so you can see the problem solving process in action. You’ll learn how to find strategies that meet your and your child’s needs, so you can end the power struggles in your home!
In the remaining calls we’ll break down the problem solving approach and spend a call focused on each component, so you can get really comfortable applying the ideas in your specific situation.
Call 3: How to shift from judgment to non-judgmental observations. Judgments in our heads tell us about things that are important to us. But when we speak them aloud, they put us in a position of power and tell others that they don’t measure up to our standards. Learn how to use your judgments to understand your experience, and transform your words into observations that invite others to meet both of your needs.
Call 4: Understanding feelings leads to empathy. When we take the time to understand someone else’s feelings - without the need to ‘fix’ these or make the person feel better - their need to be seen, heard, and understood is often met. It also sets the stage for us to be able to access the empathy and curiosity necessary for us to identify each of our needs.
Call 5: Understanding needs leads to strategies that meet both of our needs. It can often seem like our needs conflict with our child’s needs - and only one of them can be met. Actually, the strategies we use to meet needs can conflict; when we work with needs we can almost always find multiple strategies to meet our needs - and our child’s needs as well.
Call 6: Making requests creates a culture of consent. Because we're bigger and stronger and they seek our approval, we can often use our power to get our child to do something we want them to do. (If they refuse, we call them 'defiant.') We'll move toward using requests that create a culture of consent and collaboration in your home.
Note: If needed, we may adjust the schedule by group agreement. The agenda works for us; we don't work for it!
Call 2: Introducing the problem-solving approach to make parenting easier. We’ll coach one or more parents through a representative challenging situation (Tooth brushing refusal...dragging out bedtimes...attitude...) so you can see the problem solving process in action. You’ll learn how to find strategies that meet your and your child’s needs, so you can end the power struggles in your home!
In the remaining calls we’ll break down the problem solving approach and spend a call focused on each component, so you can get really comfortable applying the ideas in your specific situation.
Call 3: How to shift from judgment to non-judgmental observations. Judgments in our heads tell us about things that are important to us. But when we speak them aloud, they put us in a position of power and tell others that they don’t measure up to our standards. Learn how to use your judgments to understand your experience, and transform your words into observations that invite others to meet both of your needs.
Call 4: Understanding feelings leads to empathy. When we take the time to understand someone else’s feelings - without the need to ‘fix’ these or make the person feel better - their need to be seen, heard, and understood is often met. It also sets the stage for us to be able to access the empathy and curiosity necessary for us to identify each of our needs.
Call 5: Understanding needs leads to strategies that meet both of our needs. It can often seem like our needs conflict with our child’s needs - and only one of them can be met. Actually, the strategies we use to meet needs can conflict; when we work with needs we can almost always find multiple strategies to meet our needs - and our child’s needs as well.
Call 6: Making requests creates a culture of consent. Because we're bigger and stronger and they seek our approval, we can often use our power to get our child to do something we want them to do. (If they refuse, we call them 'defiant.') We'll move toward using requests that create a culture of consent and collaboration in your home.
Note: If needed, we may adjust the schedule by group agreement. The agenda works for us; we don't work for it!
Stay connected
beyond the book club
Stay connected
beyond the book club
beyond the book club
When you join MAR’s Parenting Beyond Power Book Club, you’re becoming part of a community of like-minded parents who share your values. And when the 12 weeks end, your journey can continue on.
You’ll have the option to stay connected through an alumni chat, join the MAR member community, or sign up for additional parenting courses and coaching with Jen. Parenting with an anti-racist, social justice lens is lifelong work, but you don’t have to do it alone.
You’ll have the option to stay connected through an alumni chat, join the MAR member community, or sign up for additional parenting courses and coaching with Jen. Parenting with an anti-racist, social justice lens is lifelong work, but you don’t have to do it alone.
Stay connected
beyond the book club
Stay connected
beyond the book club
beyond the book club
When you join MAR’s Parenting Beyond Power Book Club, you’re becoming part of a community of like-minded parents who share your values. And when the 12 weeks end, your journey can continue on.
You’ll have the option to stay connected through an alumni chat, join the MAR member community, or sign up for additional parenting courses and coaching with Jen. Parenting with an anti-racist, social justice lens is lifelong work, but you don’t have to do it alone.
You’ll have the option to stay connected through an alumni chat, join the MAR member community, or sign up for additional parenting courses and coaching with Jen. Parenting with an anti-racist, social justice lens is lifelong work, but you don’t have to do it alone.
1. What’s involved in the Parenting Beyond Power Book Club?
After you sign up, we’ll send you a suggested reading/listening schedule to help you get the most out of the coaching calls, although you’re not required to have read/listened to participate.
Join us for six 90-minute group coaching sessions. You’ll meet like-minded parents, leave each call with a deep sense of community among parents who share your values, and learn priceless new tools to help you interact with your kids in a way that’s aligned with your values.
We won’t do close readings or analysis of the text. Instead, we’ll use it as a jumping off point to get support for all your parenting challenges. You’ll get to learn new ideas, try them with your kids, and come back in two weeks for help if things don’t go the way you hoped (and also have people to celebrate with when they DO go well!)
2. Who is the book club for?
The book club is designed primarily for privileged parents. The greater your proximity to Whiteness (identifying as White, being White-presenting, having lighter skin, etc.) and the greater financial privilege you have, the more you’ll benefit from the workshop.
I do work with a lot of parents who identify as Black, Indigenous, or a Parent of Colour and who tell me they are ‘complicit in their own oppression’ or ‘have their own internalized White Supremacy to unpack’. If you see yourself using power over your children to get them to listen to you, the book club will help.
3. What age should my child be for me to get the most out of the book club?
You'll get the most out of the book club if your child is up to age 12. While the methods described in Parenting Beyond Power work in any relationship, most of our time will be spent discussing the kinds of challenges that parents with kids under 12 face (tantrumming, stalling, hitting, biting, kicking, refusing to do what they're told; looking you right in the eye and doing the thing you just told them not to do, etc...).
4. Do I have to be available at a certain time?
Calls will be held from 6-7:30pm Pacific on Friday evenings. We hope this allows both parents in two-parent families to join. If this isn’t convenient for you, you can watch the recordings. If lots of people enroll, we will add an 11am Pacific call time to keep numbers manageable on each call.
5. How much does it cost?
We have sliding scale pricing available. If you are keen to participate but would struggle to pay even the lowest price, please email support@yourparentingmojo.com with a brief description of your circumstances and a suggested amount you could pay - if we can make it work, we will.
6. My co-parent and I both want to attend the book club. Do we have to pay twice?
Since it does cost more work to support each attendee, we request that you register for each person who plans to join the book club. Feel free to select a lower sliding scale price for one or both registrations, or email support@yourparentingmojo.com to suggest a price you can afford for each registration and if we can make it work, we will.
7. Will the book club address the unique ways that racism shows up in Canada as well as the U.S.?
While Jen’s work takes a U.S.-based focus, the principles of dismantling White supremacy are broadly geographically relevant. Kerry Cavers, MAR Canada founder, will also attend the group coaching calls to put the ideas into a Canadian context if needed.
8. Can I invite my mom / friend / coworker who is not a MAR Member?
Yes! If you know someone who is also interested in exploring how White Supremacy, Patriarchy and Capitalism has influenced their parenting and wants to transform their power-over relationship with their kids, invite them along! It is likely they would make a great MAR Member. Just send them the link to this page to register for the book club. Their name and email address will be shared with MAR Canada; they should also join the MAR Canada Facebook group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/3074119502633917
9. Do I have to be Canadian to participate?
While many participants will be Canadian, and we'll make the examples we discuss relevant to the Canadian context, parents from anywhere in the world are invited to join the book club. We look forward to welcoming parents from MAR U.S. this time around as well!
10. Do I have to read the whole book before the workshop starts?
No! We'll send you a reading schedule of approximately two chapters per two weeks. You'll get the most out of the calls if you've been able to do the reading in advance but it's not a requirement - there won't be a test!
Artwork above pictured from our friends at TreeHouse Learning Early Childhood Education Center in Boulder County, Colorado USA.
I'm indebted to Alexis Cunningham at Worts & Cunning Apothecary for her ideas on sliding scales that I have adopted.
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