Taming Your Triggers Mar 2021

Research-based ideas
to help kids thrive

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Taming Your Triggers

You nurture your children and prepare them to fly...
but who nurtures you?

Tame Your Triggers
& Break the Cycle

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It may seem like our child's behavior is the source of our triggered feelings...but it isn't.

The real source lies within us.

And if we don't do things differently, this trauma will be passed down to our own children.

Tame Your Triggers
& Break the Cycle

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Maybe parenting feels easy to you most of the time.

Or maybe you know you're struggling.

Maybe parenting feels easy to you most of the time.

Or maybe it feels like you're lost at sea.

Either way, there are times when your child does something that all children do:

Expresses uncomfortable emotions

Makes a big mess

Wastes food

Talks back

Screams/shouts LOUDLY

Stalls endlessly when they're getting dressed, leaving the house, getting ready for bed...

And you SNAP

I want you to know that this isn't your fault

It's not something you're doing 'wrong.'

It's not something your children are doing 'wrong.'

It's often caused by some kind of unresolved trauma.

And when you understand and begin to resolve that trauma,
you'll feel triggered less often.

Either way, there are times when your child does something that all children do:

Expresses uncomfortable emotions

Makes a big mess

Wastes food

Talks back

Screams/shouts LOUDLY

Stalls endlessly when they're getting dressed, leaving the house, getting ready for bed...

And you SNAP

I want you to know that this isn't your fault

It's not something you're doing 'wrong.'

It's not something your children are doing 'wrong.'

It's often caused by some kind of unresolved trauma.

And when you understand and begin to resolve that trauma,
you feel triggered less often.

Therapist-Approved Insights

"The Taming Your Triggers Workshop is an excellent tool for any parent interested in understanding the "why" behind their triggers. This workshop is trauma informed and aligns with best practices in trauma treatment.

As a trauma therapist, I see every day how unresolved stressors and trauma can show up every day if not addressed. This workshop is a great first step to mitigate trauma reactions from affecting our parenting. I highly recommend it!"

- Joanna Filidor, LMFT

Therapist-Approved Insights

- Joanna Filidor, LMFT

Tame your triggers &
break the cycle

More often than you would like, your child:

Doesn't listen
Doesn't do what you ask
Seems 'out of control'

When this happens, you feel:

Angry
Frustrated
Defeated

Then, you:

Shout
Humiliate ("I can't believe you did that! Why would you do something like that?!")
Maybe even swat or spank

Tame your triggers &
break the cycle

More often than you would like, your child:

Doesn't listen
Doesn't do what you ask
Seems 'out of control'

When this happens, you feel:

Angry
Frustrated
Defeated

Then, you:

Shout
Humiliate ("I can't believe you did that! Why would you do something like that?!")
Maybe even swat or spank

After you've calmed down, you feel:

Shame (You know this isn't how you want to parent)
Guilt (You know these interactions aren't helping your child develop the skills they need)
Hopelessness (You don't know what to do differently)

The feeling of being triggered tells us:

"Those old traumas that you thought you had a lid on are still there."

And because it's our trauma that causes the triggered feeling, not our child's behavior, we need to work on changing our response rather than our child's behavior.

Feel the difference, see the difference:

"Since the workshop I'm more patient and have greater capacity. And that's really saying something because it's summer; I'm with my kids 24/7 for 11 weeks!"

"I've been determined to break the generational trauma with my own children while holding my triggers like an inevitable nuisance at best and as only human when I lost it and react. It's so incredibly freeing to consider that possibility that I could lay down those chains all together.

Since the workshop I'm more patient and have greater capacity. And that's really saying something because it's summer; I'm with my kids 24/7 for 11 weeks!

I knew coming in that the work to do was my own and only my own. My children are quite literally perfectly imperfect. My triggers are about ME, not them. By doing MY work I free all of us from carrying unhealed pain forward into future generations. What I'm constantly searching for is HOW to do my work. What does "do my work" even mean?

The Taming Your Triggers workshop was a clear, concise and actionable path forward. The workshop gave me very clear steps to take toward being the mother I aspire to be by helping me heal my own hurt. Writing the letter to my mother using the framework provided opened space for me to grieve the mother I desperately wanted and do not have. Using stories to heal trauma has been beneficial for *all* of us.

I'm so grateful for the workshop!"

- K.D.

"... my own childhood experiences were having such a huge impact on my daily life as a parent."

"I never would have imagined that my own childhood experiences were having such a huge impact on my daily life as a parent.

Through this workshop I've discovered that my outbursts aren't a character flaw, they're something that can be healed, creating a stronger, healthier relationship with my own children in the process."

- E.B.

"Now I have specific tools I can use that DO align with my values and beliefs, and that alone makes me feel more calm and grounded."

"I used to feel really alone and 'out at sea' with my triggered feelings; I didn't know how much my past trauma had impacted the feelings I have right now. Now I have a plan and support structure, and I've learned really helpful tools to change the way I talk with my children in these difficult moments.

I've realized that how I feel and behave sets the tone for the rest of my family, and when I felt triggered my actions haven't been aligned with my values. Now I have specific tools I can use that DO align with my values and believes, and that alone makes me feel more calm and grounded.

- M.M.

"... I'm on a better track to treating my children and their emotions respectfully."

"The Taming Your Triggers Workshop helped provide insight into why I sometimes reacted to my children in ways I was unhappy with.

After taking the workshop, I've been able to stop and evaluate why I'm upset before reacting negatively. It's still a work in progress but I'm on a better track to treating my children and their emotions respectfully."

- A.K.

"I can honestly say this is the most important and significant accomplishment I've had in my personal life... maybe ever."

"Where do I start saying how this workshop has helped me? It has helped me to identify that I was even being triggered in the first place. I thought I was just an anxious person and there was no other way. Because of this workshop, I can now identify when I am triggered and step away from my narrow perspective, understand the root of the trigger from my past, and see the bigger picture including what my partner or child might be feeling and perceiving in that moment from me.

The whole workshop was really well structured to both give me insight and help find solutions that work for me. Now I understand much more about how the intergenerational trauma that has happened in my family is impacting my relationship with my son. And I had always known I had issues with my mom, but not the extent to which it affected me on an hourly basis - that module of content dropped a bomb on me that I never saw coming. I'm so glad that I learned tools in the workshop so I don't have to be ruled by that any more. I also learned what hypoarousal is - I saw that I probably spent 50% of my time in this state and had no idea it was even a thing.

I still get triggered and give in to impulse every once in a while now, but FAR less often. What I've learned in the workshop has improved my relationship with both my child and husband and even my relationship with myself. I can honestly say this is the most important and significant accomplishment I've had in my personal life... maybe ever. I wish there was a way to fully convey the value that parents who are experiencing these feelings will get out of this workshop.

- A.H.

"... helped me find ways to stay calm when the tension rises with my toddlers."

"Thank you Jen for hosting the Taming Your Triggers workshop. Parenting three children under five isn't easy and it's even harder when my own childhood trauma surfaces.

It really helped me identify my own issues that need work and self love/compassion and helped me find ways to stay calm when the tension rises with my toddlers."

- K.S.

"I cannot stress enough how much weight this workshop has lifted from my shoulders."

"The way the content was curated, sequenced, and explained made a lot of sense to me. Even though some of the material is already available online, the way the modules were planned out was really helpful on my journey of learning about triggers. The pacing of the workshop helped to give me enough space to do the self-reflection, have time to think over topics, and make the connections across the weeks. I enjoyed the support from other participants and supporting them as well.

I cannot stress enough how much weight this workshop has lifted off my shoulders. It has helped me to tie in everything I've learned on my own journey of respectful parenting, understanding why I was having such a hard time even though I had all the knowledge, and given me a framework to navigate the difficult moments I have with my child more effectively.

- J.F.

Feel the difference, see the difference:

"Since the workshop I'm more patient and have greater capacity. And that's really saying something because it's summer; I'm with my kids 24/7 for 11 weeks!"

Since the workshop I'm more patient and have greater capacity. And that's really saying something because it's summer; I'm with my kids 24/7 for 11 weeks!

I knew coming in that the work to do was my own and only my own. My children are quite literally perfectly imperfect. My triggers are about ME, not them. By doing MY work I free all of us from carrying unhealed pain forward into future generations. What I'm constantly searching for is HOW to do my work. What does "do my work" even mean?

I'm so grateful for the workshop!"

- K.D.

"... my own childhood experiences were having such a huge impact on my daily life as a parent."

"I never would have imagined that my own childhood experiences were having such a huge impact on my daily life as a parent.

- E.B.

"Now I have specific tools I can use that DO align with my values and beliefs, and that alone makes me feel more calm and grounded."

I've realized that how I feel and behave sets the tone for the rest of my family, and when I felt triggered my actions haven't been aligned with how I want them. Now I have specific tools I can use that DO align with my values and believes, and that alone makes me feel more calm and grounded.

- M.M.

"... I'm on a better track to treating my children and their emotions respectfully."

"The Taming Your Triggers Workshop helped provide insight into why I sometimes reacted to my children in ways I was unhappy with.

- A.K.

"I can honestly say this is the most important and significant accomplishment I've had in my personal life... maybe ever."

- A.H.

"... helped me find ways to stay calm when the tension rises with my toddlers."

"Thank you Jen for hosting the Taming Your Triggers workshop. Parenting three children under five isn't easy and it's even harder when my own childhood trauma surfaces.

It really helped me identify my own issues that need work and self love/compassion and helped me find ways to stay calm when the tension rises with my toddlers."

- K.S.

"I cannot stress enough how much weight this workshop has lifted from my shoulders."

- J.F.

When you join the
Taming Your Triggers workshop,
you'll learn:

By the end of
the online workshop,
you will:

What is a trigger, and how to identify yours

Understand why your child's behavior leaves you so frustrated and angry (hint: it isn't really all about your child!)

Where triggers come from - examining previously experienced trauma, as well as the stresses of daily life

Feel triggered less often

How to use mindfulness (in just a few minutes a day!) to help you avoid being triggered in the first place, and respond more effectively when you are occasionally still triggered

Know what to do on those occasions when you are still triggered, and how to use them as a way to deepen your relationship with your child

How to recognize when you're in frame of mind that makes you susceptible to feeling triggered, and take specific steps to make yourself more trigger-proof

Use these interactions with your child to model problem-solving skills that your child can use throughout their life

How to help your child WANT to cooperate with you, so you don't have to lose your cool

When you join the
Taming Your Triggers
workshop, you'll learn:

What is a trigger, and how to identify yours

Where triggers come from - examining previously experienced trauma, as well as the stresses of daily life

How to use mindfulness (in just a few minutes a day!) to help you avoid being triggered in the first place, and respond more effectively when you are occasionally still triggered

How to recognize when you're in frame of mind that makes you susceptible to feeling triggered, and take specific steps to make yourself more trigger-proof

How to help your child WANT to cooperate with you, so you don't have to lose your cool

By the end of
the online workshop,
you will:

Understand why your child's behavior leaves you so frustrated and angry (hint: it isn't really all about your child!)

Feel triggered less often

Know what to do on those occasions when you are still triggered, and how to use them as a way to deepen your relationship with your child

Use these interactions with your child to model problem-solving skills that your child can use throughout their life

How do I participate in the online workshop?

Sign up on this page

Select the sliding scale payment option most appropriate for you

Read the content

Ten modules of content over the course of ten weeks starting on Monday March 1st, each designed to shift the way you see your triggers and how you can feel less controlled by them. Each module will take 5-10 minutes to read, with a 5-10 minute video as well (we keep the pace relaxed to make sure you can keep up, as well as process the emotions that may arise as you do this work). Participate whenever you like - there's no requirement to be available at a certain time!

Do the homework

Each one consists of a short quiz, exercise, or journaling prompt - most can be done in ~ 30 minutes

Participate in the community

Ask questions, get answers, and receive ideas and support from me and the other workshop participants. You'll get a chance to work with an 'accountabuddy' to help keep you on track. We'll help you find someone in our private community (hosted on a non-Facebook platform) - or bring your own friend!

Watch the atmosphere shift in your home

• You feel triggered less often
• You're able to respond to your child more effectively when you are occasionally triggered
• You and your children are more connected and better able to work together to solve problems

How do I
participate in the
online workshop?

Sign up on this page

Select the sliding scale payment option most appropriate for you

Read the emails

Do the homework

Each one consists of a short quiz, exercise, or journaling prompt - most can be done in ~ 30 minutes

Participate in the community

Watch the atmosphere shift in your home

• You feel triggered less often
• You're able to respond more effectively when you are occasionally triggered
• You and your children are more connected and better able to work together to solve problems

Hi, I'm Jen
(and that's Carys)!

I host the Your Parenting Mojo podcast, which compiles the more than 10,000 hours I've spent researching parenting and child development to help you really understand an issue from all sides.

I know that when you're shifting your approach to interacting with your child you need two things: you need the right information, and you need to understand how to go beyond a cognitive (brain-based) understanding to make implementing ideas a habit.

We aren't short on information on parenting; it's available everywhere online. What you need is someone who can help you sort through what's worth paying attention to from what isn't (I have a Masters in Psychology focused on Child Development and another in Education).

And because I'm a Co-Active Coach, I can help you go far beyond just memorizing the right words to say to your child to truly taking on this new way of being in relationships.

I've tamed my own triggers using the exact methods you'll learn in the workshop, and have helped so many other parents find relief from the weight of their triggered feelings so they can have the loving, caring relationship they want with their child. I can't wait to work with you, too!

Hi! I'm Jen
(and that's Carys)

I host the Your Parenting Mojo podcast, which compiles the more than 10,000 hours I've spent researching parenting and child development to help you really understand an issue from all sides.

I know that when you're shifting your approach to interacting with your child you need two things: you need the right information, and you need to understand how to go beyond a cognitive (brain-based) understanding to make implementing ideas a habit.

And because I'm a Co-Active Coach, I can help you go far beyond just memorizing the right words to say to your child to truly taking on this new way of being in relationships.

The "This Time It's Different" Guarantee

I'm so sure that you'll be able to shift the way you show up in your relationship with your child that I guarantee your experience in this workshop.

If at any point up to and including the very end of the workshop you've read the modules and done the homework and you just feel like you have not been able to make meaningful progress on taming your triggers, then just email support@yourparentingmojo.com and we'll give you your money back.

It's that simple.

Why am I so confident doing this?

Because I've seen the results that so many parents have had in this workshop (did you check out those testimonials?!)

When you understand the true sources of your triggered feelings and create space to respond to your child rather than just reacting, and you can repair effectively on the fewer occasions when you are still triggered, family life gets a whole lot easier!

Questions that parents just like you have asked before jumping into Taming their Triggers

1. I want to do this, but I’m already spread wayyyy to thin. How much time is this going to take?

I hear you:-)

The amount of benefit you get for the work you put into this workshop is unparalleled.

You'll receive new content once a week which will take you 10 minutes to read. A homework exercise will take another 5-30 minutes.

You'll likely appreciate giving support to others and receiving it from them in our private community as you see that you are not alone on this journey.

It's a very minimal time commitment for what most parents find to be a life-changing benefit.

2. Do I need to be on Facebook to participate in the community?

No! I've been hearing from parents for a while now that they want to join my programs but don't want to be on Facebook, so I'm using a new (distraction-free!) service to host this community. No Facebook required.

3. Do you offer any kind of discount?

The sliding scale pricing incorporates a number of discounts. If you cannot afford even the lowest potential option, please get in touch at support@yourparentingmojo.com to briefly explain your situation and propose a price that can work for you.

My ability to provide this option relies on other parents' ability and willingness to pay the full fee. Please do pay the highest price you can afford.

4. I'd like to take this workshop with my partner. Do we need to pay twice?

Firstly, welcome! I definitely encourage couples to take this workshop together. You can function as each others' accounability partners to keep on track with the workshop - and you'll also be more supportive of each other in the difficult moments because you'll both know how hard you're working on this.

I invite you to pay the option that makes the most sense for your financial situation. If you can afford to pay for both partners, please do so. If this would create a severe financial struggle for you, please pay the highest price you can afford for one of you to attend, and then you can both share the information.

5. Who will benefit most from the workshop?

If you find yourself having (what you feel to be) extreme reactions - whether these are the yelling/punishing kind or the shutting down and walking away kind - to your child's age-appropriate behavior, this workshop is for you.

If you know all the peaceful/respectful parenting tools but just can't figure out how to apply them in the heat of the moment, this workshop is for you.

If you realize you've been trying to change your child's behavior so you won't have these kinds of reactions any more (so you're focusing on your child, instead of yourself), this workshop is for you.

6. For how long can I access the workshop materials?

You'll have lifetime access to the materials on our beautiful, custom-designed learning platform.

But please don't sign up for the workshop thinking "I don't really have time now but I'll sign up and come back to it later." I want you to gain the full benefit of being in the workshop and you're most likely to do that if you go through most of the material with the group, when we can support you in staying on track and answer your questions as you go.

7. I'm still just not sure the workshop is right for me. How can I decide?

If you were my coaching client, I’d encourage you to take these steps to help you make the decision:

Ask your logical left brain: What are the benefits I would get from joining?

Ask your intuitive right brain and your body: Do I want to join? Do you feel a sense of longing or anticipation in your body as you imagine creating a different relationship with your child? Does it ‘feel’ like a fit, even if you can’t fully articulate why in words? We are taught to ignore our intuition in favor of rational arguments, but our physical sensations can tell us a lot about our experience if we know how to listen.

Ask both your logical left brain and intuitive right brain/body: What’s holding me back? Are you wondering how this could work when so many other tools you’ve tried have failed? Are you worried about needing to interact with other parents as you do this work? What’s behind these fears? Are these voices the ones that should make the decisions about your relationship with your child?

Cast your mind forward just ten weeks. What would you like your relationship with your child to be like by then? Would you like to feel confident that no matter what your child does, that you can respond (rather than react!) with calm and confidence - and that you won't wish afterward that you'd handled it differently? If so, come on in!

Have more questions? Just email support@yourparentingmojo.com and we’ll get right back to you.

Taming Your Triggers Spring 2021 Workshop
Doors Close February 28 / Starts March

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