103: How to raise a child who uses their uniqueness to create happiness

Dr. Rose defines a Dark Horse as someone who uses a variety of unusual strategies like understanding their ‘micromotives’ and not worrying about their overall destination and to focus instead on more immediate goals to create a fulfilled life.

In his book he focuses on the paths adults have followed to become Dark Horses, which is almost invariably one of either:

  1. Child is successful in school, attends an elite university, achieves financial stability, realizes they feel unfilled, and switches direction mid-life
  2. Child flounders in school and barely graduates or doesn’t graduate; gets married and has children or works a series of low-level jobs before discovering their path


But I wondered: rather than following either of these (highly frustrating!) paths, could we instead support our children much earlier in life to discover how their passions can lead them toward a fulfilling life, rather than forcing them through a standardized system and then making them figure it out on their own later?

Dr. Rose agreed that this would indeed be the preferable path, and we also talked about how to do this.

Dark Horse: Achieving Success Through the Pursuit of Fulfillment can be purchased in your local bookstore or on Amazon. (Affiliate link)


The Learning membership will help you to support your child’s intrinsic love of learning – a critical step for raising a Dark Horse. Click the banner below to learn more!




Want to know what skills YOU need to raise a dark horse?  Join the FREE You Are Your Child’s Best Teacher masterclass when doors reopen  Click the banner below to learn more:



Here is Dr. Rose’s interview on The Art of Manliness, where you can learn more about how his approach could help you as an adult to become more of a Dark Horse




About the author, Jen

Jen Lumanlan (M.S., M.Ed.) hosts the Your Parenting Mojo podcast (www.YourParentingMojo.com), which examines scientific research related to child development through the lens of respectful parenting.

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