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Latest Episodes & Transcripts

176: How to begin healing shame with A.J. Bond

By Jen Lumanlan | Jan 29, 2023

Do you ever feel ashamed? Many people find it among their most physical emotions, resulting in a big knot of tension or a hot flush that washes over their whole body. But what is shame, and where does it come from?     I recently read a LOT of academic papers and books, and also…

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Q&A #1: Should I let my child hit me, or a pillow?

By Jen Lumanlan | Jan 22, 2023

This episode kicks off a series of new episodes that I’m very excited about, which is based on listeners’ questions. My goal is to produce shorter episodes that cut across the research base to help you answer the questions that are on your mind about your child’s behavior and development.   Our first question comes…

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175: I’ll be me; can you be you?

By Jen Lumanlan | Jan 8, 2023

In this most personal episode I’ve ever created, I’ll share with you how my autism self-diagnosis has helped me to understand the experiences I’ve had in ways that bring a great deal more clarity and insight than I’ve had up to now.   In addition to hearing from me, you’ll hear the actual voicemail the…

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174: Support for Neurodivergent Parents with Dr. Rahimeh Andalibian & Sara Goodrich

By Jen Lumanlan | Dec 18, 2022

Most of the resources related to parenting and neurodiversity are geared toward helping neurodivergent children, not neurodivergent parents, so this episode aims to help close that gap. Whether you (or your partner, if you have one) have a diagnosis or you see yourself (or them) struggling but can’t quite figure out why, this episode may…

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173: Why we shouldn’t read the “Your X-Year-Old Child” books any more

By Jen Lumanlan | Dec 4, 2022

Have you ever seen recommendations for the books called Your One Year Old, Your Two Year Old, and so on, by Louise Bates Ames?  Every few weeks I see parents posting in online communities asking about some aspect of their child’s behavior that is confusing or annoying to them, and somebody responds: “You should read…

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172: You Are Not A Sh*tty Parent with Carla Naumburg

By Jen Lumanlan | Nov 20, 2022

Are you a shitty parent?   Or do you ever think you might be?   Parenting today is so hard, and there are so many models of ‘perfect parenting’ available on social media that we can compare ourselves against that provide ‘evidence’ that we’re not doing it right.   Things can get even more difficult…

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171: How Good People Can Create A More Just Future with Dr. Dolly Chugh

By Jen Lumanlan | Nov 6, 2022

Did you read Little House on the Prairie when you were a child? I didn’t, but I know it’s a common American rite of passage. My guest in this new episode, Dr. Dolly Chugh, got entirely immersed in the story with her two young daughters – so much so that they took a vacation to…

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170: How to stop procrastinating with Dr. Fuschia Sirois

By Jen Lumanlan | Oct 23, 2022

Our culture says that people procrastinate because they’re disorganized and lazy. After all, how hard can it really be to do a task you’ve committed to doing, and one that you even know will benefit you?!   But I learned through this episode that procrastination isn’t about disorganization or laziness at all – it’s much…

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169: How to take care of yourself first with Liann Jensen

By Jen Lumanlan | Oct 9, 2022

Liann did not have an easy entry into motherhood.  Her first child’s birth was pretty traumatic; it was followed by a miscarriage and then very quickly by another pregnancy.   And then by COVID.   She was already overwhelmed and then everyone was isolated…and suddenly Liann had a whole lot of anger that she hadn’t…

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168: Feeling Triggered by Current Events

By Jen Lumanlan | Oct 2, 2022

I know it can be really difficult to navigate all the events happening in the world today.  It seems like things are falling apart, with wars, climate change-caused drought and wildfires in some areas and flooding in others, with hunger not following far behind.  And things aren’t any better on the political front either.  …

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167: Healing and Helping with Mutual Aid with Dean Spade

By Jen Lumanlan | Sep 25, 2022

In this conversation with Dean Spade we resolve a long-running challenge in my understanding: when we talked with Dr. john powell on the topic of Othering and Belonging a couple of years ago we discussed how volunteering promotes othering, because it perpetuates the idea that the volunteer is a person with resources to give, and…

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166: Learning to trust your child – and yourself

By Jen Lumanlan | Sep 11, 2022

Claire had used respectful parenting methods since her children were babies, so child-led learning seemed like a natural fit for her.  She protected her toddler’s free play time and involved her in household chores and nature walks.   Claire attended school as a child (just like I did!); she even enjoyed elementary school. By high…

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