How to Foster Positive Sibling Relationships

By Jen Lumanlan | May 7, 2025
An older child gently interacts with a baby sitting in a walker

Key takeaways Sibling relationships are important because they’re a child’s first peer relationship.  They set the foundation for all future social interactions, affecting development from risk behaviors to healthcare access. While many assume fighting is “just what siblings do,” constant conflict isn’t inevitable. Some anthropologists suggest sibling rivalry may even be a Euro-centric cultural invention.…

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Are You A Permissive Parent?

By Jen Lumanlan | April 29, 2025
A woman and two young children explore autumn leaves in a forest.

Key Takeaways Permissive parenting involves high responsiveness to children’s feelings, often prioritizing freedom over parents’ needs. Parents become permissive through misunderstanding gentle/respectful parenting, a fear of conflict, a mismatch with their child’s temperament, and neglecting their own needs. Effects include children who don’t see others’ needs as important, parents feeling overwhelmed, and frustration for both…

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How to Help Children Who Procrastinate

By Jen Lumanlan | April 1, 2025
A boy leaning on his crossed arms at a wooden table

Key takeaways Children procrastinate to avoid negative feelings like anxiety, fear of failure, or uncertainty. Teaching children self-forgiveness and self-compassion reduces shame and guilt, which actually helps prevent future procrastination rather than enabling it. Teaching children to break tasks into small, manageable pieces makes starting easier. Visual exercises like ‘paper doll chains’ help children understand…

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How to Prepare Children for the Real World

By Jen Lumanlan | March 16, 2025
Two smiling young children with their arms around each other taking a selfie outdoors.

Note: this blog post is adapted from the podcast episode, How to prepare your kids for the real world. Parents often ask me: “How can I prepare my child for the real world?” This question emerges in three distinct contexts: Navigating external influences like junk food and media; Dealing with broader social systems that don’t…

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9 Ways to Raise Value-Driven Kids in Today’s Political Climate

By Jen Lumanlan | November 18, 2024

The 2024 election season has put a lot of us through the wringer.  We may have deeply held values around fairness, freedom, and what it means to belong in a community – and it can feel scary when other people don’t share those values. For parents, the election obviously gives us an opportunity to discuss…

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Why rape culture hurts us so much (It doesn’t have to be this way)

By Jen Lumanlan | February 25, 2024

Note: This blog post is an adaptation of the podcast episode How to Create a Culture of Consent in our Families   When my daughter was three, her doctor prescribed antibiotics for an infection.  She said she didn’t like the flavor and refused to take them, and I forced the dropper into her mouth.  I…

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How social forces have hurt us and will hurt our children (and what to do about it)

By Jen Lumanlan | January 31, 2024

Does it sometimes seem like things would be a lot easier if your children would just listen to you? Would it make you feel uncomfortable to see your boy dressed in pink clothes, and your girl being loud, demanding, and ‘rude’? Do you ever feel as though you’re always trying to get to the bottom…

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The Magic Trick that Makes us Better Parents.

By Jen Lumanlan | January 26, 2024

When my daughter was a toddler, I used to tell a lot of stories. Of course there were the stories I made up for her before bed; her favorites were the ones where she went on adventures with Squirrel Number One and Squirrel Number Two from our backyard. At least once in every story she and…

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The connection between social challenges and power

By Jen Lumanlan | August 16, 2023

A few weeks ago I sent an email to YPM subscribers about Juneteenth, and how I see the connections between parenting and power, and one of you wrote back to me:   I as a white parent am exerting power over my white child. How does this connect to racism?   I understand modeling how…

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What to read instead of the Your X-Year-Old child books

By Jen Lumanlan | December 11, 2022
A smiling woman and man reading together from a red book, looking happy and engaged.

Key Takeaways: Dr. Louise Bates Ames’ Your X-Year-Old child books are based on biased research that defined “normal” development using only White, middle-class children raised in the 1920s-30s. The research methods used by Dr. Arnold Gesell and Dr. Bates Ames were culturally biased despite claiming scientific neutrality, with rigid definitions of what constitutes ‘normal’ child…

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