Your Parenting Mojo

Emotional Regulation

069: Reducing the impact of intergenerational trauma

By Jen Lumanlan | Jul 22, 2018

Ever get red-hot angry at your child for no reason, or out of proportion to the incident that provoked it?  Have you wondered why this happens? The way we were parented has a profound impact on us – it’s pretty easy to ‘fall into’ parenting the way you were parented yourself unless you specifically examine…

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067: Does the Marshmallow Test tell us anything useful?

By Jen Lumanlan | Jun 25, 2018

The Marshmallow Test is one of the most famous experiments in Psychology: Dr. Walter Mischel and his colleagues presented a preschooler with a marshmallow.  The child was told that the researcher had to leave the room for a period of time and the child could either wait until the researcher returned and have two marshmallows, or…

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064: Compassion (and how to help your child develop it)

By Jen Lumanlan | May 20, 2018

“Social and Emotional Learning” is all the rage in school these days, along with claims that it can help children to manage their emotions, make responsible decisions, as well as improve academic outcomes. But what if those programs don’t go nearly far enough? What if we could support our child in developing a sense of compassion…

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056: Beyond "You’re OK!": Modeling Emotion Regulation

By Jen Lumanlan | Jan 28, 2018

I hear a huge crash. It’s my favorite glass vase.  I hear “I didn’t mean to hurt it, Mommy!  It just fell!” as I run full-pelt from the other end of the house. It was a family heirloom passed down by my grandmother.  I’ve asked her not to touch it a hundred times.  I am…

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054: Three reasons not to say "You’re OK!"

By Jen Lumanlan | Dec 31, 2017

“I hear parents on the playground all the time saying “You’re OK!” after their child falls over. Often it does make the child stop crying…but doesn’t it invalidate the child’s feelings?” It turns out that this question is related to a skill that psychologists call emotional regulation, and learning how to regulate emotions is one…

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